Journal of Dreams · §§ 31–60

31. King Charles was sitting in a dark room and said something, but somewhat indistinctly; afterwards one of the table inquired whether he had not received the information he had asked about; he replied, Yes. He afterwards closed the windows, and I helped him with the curtains. Afterwards I mounted a horse, but did not take the road I intended but went across hills and mountains, riding swiftly. A wagon with a load followed after me; and I could not get away from it; still the horse by the load became tired, and [the driver] wanted to get him into some place; he came in, and the horse became like a slaughtered, bloody beast, fallen down. It signifies that I have received all that I have thought for my instruction, and that I am perhaps taking a wrong road; the load was my remaining work, which followed me, who on that road became so tired and dead.

32. I stepped out of a carriage; it was driven into a lake. While driving into it the coachman cried to the other carriage to take care, as there was danger when he drove in; I looked at the other carriage; behind it there seemed to be a screen which was unfolded like an umbrella. I, together with a man who sat behind, took the screen, went in, and folded it together. It meant that the beginning of my work was difficult; the other carriage was warned to look out, and that I ought to draw my sails and not make the notes so long.

[“Not make the notes so long,” referring to the length footnotes under the text of the Regnum Animale.]

33. [April] 2-3.

Two persons came; they entered a house which, though built, was not yet furnished; they went about but did not seem favorable; we realized that our power was gone, and were afraid of them. One of them came to me and said that they intended to inflict a punishment upon me next Thursday before Easter, unless I made my escape. I did not know how to get out, but he told me he would show me the way. I awoke. Means that I, in an unprepared and untidy hut, had invited the highest beings to visit me, and that they had found it untidy and that I ought to be punished, but I was most graciously shown the way by which to avoid their wrath.

34. There was a beggar who cried that he wanted some pork; they wished to give him something else, but he insistently called for pork. I awoke. It means a gracious guard, that I may not perish.

35. I saw two groups of soldiers, dressed in blue, who marched in two troops past my window which stood ajar. I desired to look out and watch the marching of the first troop, which seemed to me magnificent. I awoke. It means a gracious guard that I might not perish.

36. N.B. 3-4 April, 1744, which was the day before Easter.

I experienced nothing the whole night, although I repeatedly woke up; I thought everything was past and gone, and that I was forsaken or driven away. Towards the morning it seemed to me that I was riding, and the direction was shown to me, but when I looked it was dark, and I found that I had lost my way on account of the darkness. But then it lightened up and I saw that I had gone wrong; I saw the road and the forests and groves to which I should travel, and behind them the sky. I awoke. There came then a thought, as it were spontaneous, about the first life, and, in consequence, about the other life, and it seemed to me that everything is full of grace. I fell aweeping because I had not been loving but rather had offended Him who had led me and shown me the way even unto the kingdom of grace, and that I, unworthy one, have been received into grace.

[“N.B.,” meaning “Nota Bene,” i.e., “Observe carefully.”]

37. [April] 4-5. I went to God’s table.

It was told me that one more courier had arrived; I said that this probably means that [rest of the sentence if obliterated.].

There was sung the melody and a line which I remember from the hymn “Jesus is my friend, the best one.”

It seemed to me that green buds had opened.

[This refers to a hymn which like a childhood-memory often rang in Swedenborg’s ears, and which he sang to himself during lonely vigils. It constitutes No. 245 in the original edition of Bishop Swedberg’s Hymnbook. We present here the words in the original antique Swedish, with a verbatim interlinear translation:

[Jesus ar min van then buste,

Jesus is my friends the best one,

Hvilkens like aldrig ar;

Whose equal never is;

Skal jag ta sa med de fleste

Shall I then thus with the most ones

Ofvergifva honom har?

Desert him here?

Ingen skal migh kunna skilja

No one shall me be able to separate

Ifran then migh haar sa kur;

From the one me holds so dear;

En skal wara bugges wilje,

One shall be of both of us the will,

Altijd har och euigt ther.

Always here and forever there.

Han haar doden for migh lidit,

He has the death for me suffered,

Ingen skal fordoma migh;

No one shall condemn men;

Hos sin Fader for migh bidit,

With his Father for me pleaded,

Thet migh gagnar ewiglig.

Which me will benefit eternally.

Ho art a som wil forklaga

Who is then that will accuse

Then han sjelf uthkorat haar?

The one he himself chosen hath?

Ho wil ifran honom draga

Who will from him draw

Then han haar I sitt forswar?

The one he hath in his defence?

Jagh ar wiss och ther pu liter,

I am certain and thereupon I trust,

Hwarken lifwet eller dodh

Neither life nor death

Migh i fran min Jesus sliter.

Me from my Jesus shall tear away.

Anglar, hoghet eller nodh,

Angels, loftiness or want,

Djuphet eller pnnat mera.

Lowliness or other more things

Ware command eller nar,

Be it coming or nigh,

Skal migh fran Gudz kurlek for a,

Shall me from God’s love draw,

Som i Jesus Christ oar.

Which is Jesus Christ is.

38. [April] 5-6.

Easter day was on April 5th, when I went to God’s table. The temptation still continued, mostly in the afternoon until six o’clock, still nothing definite. It was an anxiety as if I were damned and in hell, yet always the hope which the Holy Spirit granted, according to Paul’s Epistle to the Romans V:5, remained strong throughout. The evil one had power given him to disturb my inmost by various thoughts.

[Romans v:5 “And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit which is given to us.”]

39. On Easter day, after the communion, I was inwardly content, but still outwardly sad. The temptation came in the afternoon, in an entirely different manner, but strongly, for I was assured that my sins were forgiven, but still I could not govern my fugitive thoughts so as to restrain some expressions opposed to my better knowledge; it was from the evil one, by permission. Prayer gave some relief, and also the Word of God; the faith was present entirely, but the confidence and love seemed to be absent.

40. I went to bed at 9 o’clock; the temptation accompanied with trembling, continued until half past ten. I then fell into a sleep in which my whole temptation was represented to me: how Er[land] B[roman] sought by various means to get me on his side, so as to be of that party, (voluptuousness, riches, vanity), but he could not gain me over. I became more obstinate against him because he showed contempt.

41. Afterwards I was together with a crouching dark-grey snake, and it was B[roman’s] dog. I struck at him many times with a club but tried in vain to hit him on the head; he wanted to bite me but could not; I seized him by the throat, and he could not bite me, nor was I able to do him much harm; finally I got hold of him by the jaws and squeezed him hard, and also by the nose which I squeezed so that the venom burst forth. I said that while the dog did not belong to me, still, as he wanted to bite me, I had to chastise him. Thereupon it seemed someone said he had not gotten me to say one word with him, and then I quarreled with him. When I awoke, the words which I said were: Shut you mouth!

42. From this, without further interpretation, may be seen the nature of the temptation, but on the other hand how great has been the grace of God, through the merit of Christ, and the operation of the Holy Spirit, to whom be glory from eternity to eternity. The thought at once occurred to me, how great is the grace of the Lord, which accounts to us that we have resisted in temptation, and which is imputed to us, when nevertheless it nothing but the grace and operation of God, being His and not our own, and He overlooks the weaknesses that we have shown in it, which have been manifold; and also how great a glory our Lord bestows after a little time of tribulation.

43. Afterwards I fell asleep, and it seemed the whole night how in various ways I was first joined with others, by what is sinful; and then how I was enveloped, by wonderful and indescribable circumvolutions, so that during the whole night I was inaugurated in a wonderful manner, and then it was said, “Is there any Jacobite who is more than honest?” Then, in conclusion, I was received with an embrace. Afterwards it was said that “he ought not to be thus called or named,” but how, I do not remember, if it was not Jacobite, this I cannot describe; it was a mystical series.

[“Jacobite.” This term may have reference to the followers of St. James (Jacob), who in his Epistle insists upon the necessity of charity and good works, contrary to the “orthodox” doctrine of salvation by faith alone.]

44. Afterwards I awoke and fell asleep again a number of times, and all [that I dreamed] was in answer to my thoughts, yet in such a manner that there was such a life and such a glory in the whole of it that I cannot describe the least particular, for all of it was heavenly. At the time it was clear to me, but after it I cannot express anything. In short, I was in heaven and heard a speech which no human tongue can utter with the life that is there or the glory and inmost delight that flow from it.

Except for this I was awake, as in a heavenly ecstasy, which is also indescribable.

45. At nine o’clock I went to bed and arose between nine and ten, having been in bed from twelve to thirteen hours. To the Highest be praise, honor, and glory! Hallowed be His name! Holy, holy, Lord God Zebaoth!

46. How by experience I learned what it means not to love angels more than God, as this had nearly overthrown the whole work. In comparison with our Lord no respect must be paid to them, but only in respect to their assistance, since [their] love is far inferior.

47. I found in me as it were a radiance, that the greatest happiness be to become a martyr, for the consideration of the indescribable grace, combined with love towards God, makes one desire to sustain that torture which is nothing compared with the eternal torment, and the least thing would be to sacrifice one’s life.

48. I had also in my mind and in my body as it were a sensation of an indescribable delight, so that if it had been more intense, the body would have been as it were dissolved from the delight alone.

This took place in the night between the first and second day after Easter, and during the whole of the latter day.

49. 6-7 April. N.B. N.B. N.B.

In the evening I came into another sort of temptation, as follows: Between eight and nine in the evening, while I was reading concerning the miracles of God wrought through Moses, it seemed to me as if something of my own understanding mixed itself into it, so that I was not able to have the strong faith that I ought to have. I believed and yet did not believe. I was thinking that on this account the angels and God revealed themselves to shepherds and not to the philosopher who allows his understanding to take part in the play, as is always the way when, for instance, a person asks why God made use of the wind when He collected the locusts; why He hardened Pharaoh’s heart; why He did not work immediately; and other such things at which indeed I smiled mentally, but which nevertheless caused the faith to be less firm.

50. I looked at the fire [in my stove] and said to myself, Neither ought I to believe that the fire exists, when nevertheless the external senses are more fallacious than what God says, who is Truth itself; I ought to believe it rather than myself. In such and other thoughts I spent an hour or an hour and a half, and smiled in my mind at the tempter. It is to be noted that during the same day I travelled to Delft, and the whole day I had been graciously permitted to be in profound spiritual thoughts, as profound and beautiful as I had ever experienced, and this during the entire day, which was the work of the Spirit, whom I found to be with me.

[“During the same day I had traveled to Delft.” It would seem from this statement that the manifestation of the Lord to Swedenborg, described in nos. 51-54, took place at Delft, and not at The Hague.]

51. At ten o’clock I went to bed and felt somewhat better. Half an hour afterwards I heard a noise beneath my head and I then thought that the tempter had departed. Immediately there came over me a powerful tremor, from the head and over the whole body, together with a resounding noise, and this occurred a number of times. I found that something holy had encompassed me.

52. I then fell asleep, but about twelve, one, or two o’clock in the night there came over me a very powerful tremor from the head to the feet, accompanied with a booming sound as if many winds had clashed against one another. It was indescribable, and it shook me and prostrated me on my face. In the moment that I was prostrated I became wide awake, and I saw that I had been thrown down.

53. I wondered what it meant, and I spoke as if I were awake, but still I that the words were put into my mouth, and I said, “Oh, Thou Almighty Jesus Christ, who of Thy great mercy deignest to come to so great a sinner, make me worthy of this grace!” I kept my hands folded and I prayed, and then there came forth a hand which strongly pressed my hands.

54. I then continued my prayer, saying, “Thou hast promised to receive in grace all sinners; Thou canst not otherwise than keep Thy words!” In same moment I was sitting at His bosom and beheld Him face to face. It was a countenance of a holy mien, and all was such that it cannot be expressed, and also smiling, so that I believe that His countenance was such also while He lived [in the world]. He spoke to me and asked if I had a bill of health. [om jag har sundhets pass.] I answered, “Lord, Thou knowest better than I.” He said, “Well, then do,” [Na sa gior]. This I found in my mind to signify, “Love me truly,” or “Do what thou hast promised.” O God, impart to me grace for this! I found that it was not in my own power. I awoke, with tremors.

55. I then again came into such a state that in my thoughts I was neither sleeping nor awake. I thought, What may this be? Is it Christ, the Son of God, that I have seen? Is it a sin that I am doubting it, but as it is commanded that we are to try the spirits, I reflected on everything, and I found from that which had occurred the previous night, that I had been purified by the Holy Spirit during the whole night, and encompassed and preserved, and thus prepared for this purpose. And from the fact that I fell upon my face,- and that the words which I spoke and the prayer which I said did not come from myself, but that the words were put in my mouth, although it was I that spoke, and that everything was holy,- I perceived that it was Son of God Himself who descended with such a resounding noise which by itself prostrated me to the ground, and that it was He who effected the prayer and thus declared it to be Jesus Himself.

56. I prayed for forgiveness that I had so long doubted it, and that in my thought I had demanded a miracle, which I now perceive to be improper. Thereupon I began to pray, and I prayed only for grace; more than this I could not express, but afterwards I prayed in addition to receive the love which is the work of Jesus Christ and not my own. In the meantime tremors often passed over me.

57. Later on, about daybreak, I fell sleep again, and then had continually in my thought how Christ conjoins Himself with men; holy thoughts came, but of such a nature that they are unfathomable, for I cannot in the least express by the pen what then took place; for I only know that I was in such thoughts.

58. I then saw my father, dressed in a different costume, almost reddish. He called me to himself and took hold of my arms, which where in short sleeves, but with lace ruffles for cuffs; he took both cuffs and tied them with my ribbons. My wearing cuffs signifies that I am not of the clergy, but that I am and ought to remain in civil service. He then asked me what I thought about this question, viz., that a certain king had granted leave to about thirty persons who belonged to the spiritual order, to get married and thus to change their estate. I replied that I had thought and written something about this subject but that it has no relation to it.

[“My father,” Bishop Jesper Swedberg, (1653-1735). It had been a disappointment to him that his son, Emanuel, had not entered the priesthood.]

59. Immediately afterwards I found myself able to answer, according to my conscience, that no one ought to be permitted to change his estate, no matter what it may be, to which he has devoted himself. He said that he also was of the same opinion, but I added that if the king had resolved upon it then the matter was settled. He said that he would present his vote in writing; if there are fifty [votes] then the matter is fixed. I noticed as a remarkable circumstance that I did not call him “my father” but “my brother.” I afterwards wondered how this was: it seemed to me that my father was dead, and that this one, who is my father, thus must be my brother.

60. I must not forget that it also entered my thoughts that the Holy Spirit wished to show me to Jesus and introduce me to Him, as a work which He had thus prepared, and that I ought not to sacrifice anything to myself, but that everything is His, although He of grace appropriates the same to us.

I then sang the hymn I had chosen: “Jesus is my friend, the best one,” n. 245.