Journal of Dreams · §§ 271–286

271. [October] 19-20.

I dreamt that I saw one beast after another, which spread out their wings; they were dragons. I flew away above them, yet one of them I struck against. *Such dragons signify spurious loves, which show themselves as if they were not dragons, before their wings are seen.* It was on this subject that I was then writing.

272. [October] 20-21.

*It was very gracious and wonderful; during the previous day I had found myself unworthy of all the grace which God had deigned to show to me, because with me the love of self and the pride were so deeply rooted. I therefore prayed to God to take this away from me, since it is not within my own power. In the evening I found myself in a strange situation, such as I had never before experienced, viz., that I, as it were, despaired of the grace of God, even though I knew that God is so gracious, and that He has sown to me especially a greater grace than to others. It was an anxiety in the soul, but not in the mind, so that it could not be felt except in the mind itself, without any pain in the body.*

273. I fell asleep again, and there appeared two dogs which followed me closely; after a long while I got rid of them, and it was said to me in my thoughts that this strange pain was to cure me of them. *There is such a pain, therefore, when the root is to be removed from that which is so deeply rooted; this is well worth remembering and keeping in the thoughts.*

274. Afterwards I saw a great king; it was the King of France, who went about without a suite and in such lowly estate that he could not from it be recognized as a king. There was one with me who did not seem willing to acknowledge him as king, but I said that he is of such a character as to care nothing for it. He was very courteous towards all, without distinction, and spoke also with me. As he left he was still without a suite and took upon himself the burdens of other persons, and carried as it were a load of clothes; but later he came into a very different company, where there was much more magnificent estate.

275. Afterwards I saw the Queen; a chamberlain then came and bowed before her, and she also made just as deep a reverence, and there was nothing of pride in her. *It signifies that in Christ there is not the least degree of pride, but He makes Himself the equal of others; and although He is the greatest of Kings, He cares nothing for grandeur, and He also takes the burdens of others upon Himself. The Queen, who is Wisdom, is of the same nature; she has no love of self, and does not regard herself as more lofty because she is Queen.*

276. October 26-27.

*I had been foretold that the 27th of October would return; it was when I undertook the WORSHIP AND LOVE OF GOD.* It seemed as if it were Christ Himself, with whom I associated as with another person, without ceremony. He borrowed a little money from another person, about five pounds. I was vexed because He did not borrow from me. I took up two [pounds], but it seemed to me that I dropped one of them, and likewise the other one. He asked what it was. I said that I had found two, and that one of them might have been dropped by Him. I handed them over, and He accepted. In such an innocent manner we seemed to live together, which was a state of innocence.

[“I had been foretold that the 27th of October would return,” i.e., there had been a prediction that he would actually begin to work on the WORSHIP AND LOVE OF GOD on that date.]

277. Afterwards I was in my chamber together with some other acquaintance or relative, and I said that I wished to show him that I had better lodgings. I therefore went out with him first into an adjoining chamber, which extended far away, and chamber after chamber, but they did not belong to me. Someone in a bed asked what was wanted. I went out with him into my own parlor; when I opened the door I saw that a whole market-place was lodged there; right in front of me there was a great deal of merchandise, and beyond it there appeared the flank of a great palace, but this was taken down. Then, in front and at the sides, everything appeared full of beautiful vessels, porcelain, as it seemed to me, and as if recently arranged there; on the side everything was still being arranged. Afterwards I went into my own little chamber, which also was shining.

278. *This signifies the whole of that work upon which I am now entering in the name of God; in front, before me, is the [part] concerning the Worship of God, at the other sides [the part] concerning the Love; and also that I ought not to take from the wares of others, but my own, as it was in my parlor which I hired, my chamber, and besides it was the other work, and the rooms at the side meant that which did not belong to me. May God lead me in the right way!* Christ said that I ought not to undertake anything without Him.

279. I mounted a fine black horse; there were two; he was frisky; at first he went out of the way, but afterwards he turned back. It meant that which I should undertake, which still was dark to me, but after a while it will come in the right way.

280. While I was going with my friend through a long passage there came a beautiful girl; she fell into his arms and moaned. I asked her if she knew him, but she did not answer. I took her away from him and led her by the arm. *This was my other work to which she addressed herself, and from which I took her away thus.*

281. In the morning there appeared to me in a vision a market like the “Disting” Fair; it was in my father’s house at Upsala, in the parlor upstairs, in the entrance, and all over the house. *This signifies the same [as above], so that it must be done all the more surely.*

[The “Disting fair.” This was a great annual fair and festival, which, ever since heathen times, was held in the month of February, in the city of Upsala, which had been the most northern centre of the old pagan worship. Dr. Tafel states that it was held “in honor of the goddess Disa, and was called ‘Disablot,’ (worship of Disa). About the same time, also, a ‘ting,’ i.e., court, was held among the assembled people, where goods were exchanged.” (Doc. II:218.) Dr. Tafel is mistaken concerning “the goddess Disa;” there was no particular goddess of that name among the ancient Northmen, but “dis” was the generic term for any female deity. (See Mallett’s Northern Antiquities, p. 549.)]

282. In the morning when I awoke, there came again upon me such a swoon or fainting fit as I experienced six or seven years ago in Amsterdam, when I entered upon the Economy of the Animal Kingdom, but it was much more subtle, so that I seemed near to death; it came upon me when I saw daylight and it threw me on my face; gradually, however, it passed off because I feel into brief slumbers. This swoon, therefore, was more internal and deeper, but passed off right away. *This signifies, as at the former time, that my head is being put in order and is actually being cleansed of all that which might obstruct these thoughts, as also happened at the former time, because it gave me penetration, especially with the pen,* as now also was represented to me in that I seemed to writing a fine hand.

[“Six of seven years ago in Amsterdam.” This refers to Swedenborg’s visit to Amsterdam, August 17-20, 1736. He finished the Economy on his next visit to Amsterdam, Dec. 27, 1739.]

[The last four words of the preceding sentence are written on the 99th page of the original manuscript, but the rest of the page is blank. After several blank pages the following memoranda are found:]

283. 11-13.

Videbar mihi cum Oehlrich foeminisque daubaus esse. Cubuit, et dein, ut videtur, erat cum foeminarum una quam detexit. Mihi occurrit, ut dixi, quod et ego illarum unae accubuissem, quodque pater meus id vidisset, sed praeterivit, de hac re ne quidem verbum dicens.

284. I left Oelreich. On the way there was deep water, but at the side there was a passage where there was very little water. I therefore went thither along the side, for I thought I ought not to walk in the deep water.

285.-It seemed as if a sky-rocket burst above me, shedding a mass of sparks of beautiful fire. It means, perhaps, love for what is high.

286. [On another black page, at the end of the original manuscript, Swedenborg gives the following explanation, in Latin, of a statement made in n. 213, as follows:]

Verities or virgins of this kind regard it as shameful to offer themselves for sale; they esteem themselves so precious and dear to their admirers that they show indignation if anyone offers a price, still more if anyone attempts to purchase them; to others, who hold them vile, they life their eyebrows. And therefore, lest by the former they should be held beneath valuation, and fall into contempt with the latter, they would rather offer themselves freely to their lovers. I, who am their servitor, would not dare but to obey them, lest I be deprived of the service.