Journal of Dreams · §§ 241–270

241. [September] 18-19.

I seemed to be walking across a field which was very rough. I had in my hand an iron staff which after a while was not heavy to walk with. I came to the end of the same field, and I lay on a bed. There came against me a very large black ox and it seemed he was going to gore me with his horns. I was afraid but it was said to me, *”You will get through safely.” I awoke; something will happen to me after I have finished the first chapter on the sense of touch.*

242. [September] 21

This was a Sunday. Before I fell asleep I was in deep thoughts concerning the things on which I am engaged in writing. Then I was told: “Hold your tongue, or I will beat you.” I then saw someone sitting on a block of ice, and I was frightened. I came as it were into a vision; I held back the thoughts, and one of the usual tremors came over me. It means that I should not persist in it [my work] so long, especially on a Sunday, or perhaps in the evenings.

243. [September] 29-30.

This was on Saturday night before Sunday. I beheld the gable-end of the most beautiful palace that anyone could see, and the midst of it was shining like the sun. I was told that it had been resolved in the society that I was to become a member, as it were an immortal, which no one had ever been before, unless he had died and lived [again]; others said that there were several [in that state]. The thought occurred whether it is not the most important to be with God, and thus to live. *This, therefore, had reference to that which I had just then brought to a finish concerning organic forms in general and especially the conclusion.*

[The dissertation on “Organic forms generally” fills nos. 531 to 547 of the Animal Kingdom, Vol. II., Engl. Ed.]

244. Afterwards somebody said that he would pay me a visit at 10 o’clock, but he did not know where I lived. I replied that, as it then seemed to me, I lived in the gable-end of that palace; which signified that the things which *I then with the help of God had written concerning Forms were of such a nature that they would carry me still further, and to see things which are still more glorious.*

[Compare the statement in the world On the Senses, n. 262: “Observandum, quod secundum admonitionem audit, debcam me referre ad principia mea philosophica, . . . et dictum quod sic datum sit mihi volare ubicunque velim.” “It is to be observed that, according to an audible admonition, I ought to bring myself back to my philosophical Principia, . . . and it was said that thus it would be given me to fly whithersoever I would wish.” Swedenborg thereupon recapitulates his Doctrine of the Atmospheres and his Doctrine of Forms, (nos. 263-291).]

245. Afterwards I was in company with women, but I was not willing to touch them, inasmuch as previously I have had to do with the holier ones. Many things then occurred to me, which I left to the good-pleasure of God, because *I am like an instrument with which He does according to His good-pleasure, but I would wish to be with the former [holier] ones;* yet, not my will be done but God’s. God grant that I have not offended in this, which I do not believe I have done.

246. October 3rd, in the afternoon.

I was taking a little nap, when it was represented to me how everything consists inmostly of unities, the reason of the cause, the end, so that our thoughts, considered also as unities, carry within them no other end and reason than that which comes either from the spirit of God or of the body; if of the body it is all sin from the inmost, for we propose nothing but what strives against that which is spiritual. What it is that governs us as we may ourselves observe if we reflect upon our loves, which always accompany [the thoughts].

247. [October] 3-6

A number of times I have noticed that there are spirits of various kinds. The one spirit, which is the spirit of Christ, is the only one that carries all blessedness with it. By the others spirits man is enticed in a thousand ways to follow them, but unhappy is he who does so. Once of twice there came before me Korah and Dathan, who brought strange fire to the altar and were not able to offer it. Thus it is when another fire is brought in than the one which comes from Christ. I also beheld as it were a fire that came to me. It is therefore necessary to distinguish between the spirits, which is a thing that cannot be done except through Christ Himself and His Spirit.

[“Korah and Dathan,”-referring to the story in the book of Numbers, chapter 16.]

248. The terrible danger in which I had been in the night between the 29th and 30th was afterwards represented to me in the sleep; that I was upon a cake of ice which after a while could scarcely bear me; further on I came to a fearful great abyss; a person on the other side could not come to help me, and therefore I turned back. But it is God alone through Christ that has helped me in this [peril], and He is my Lord and Master, whose slave I am. Glory be and thanks [to Him], without whom no one can come unto God.

[The dream of the night between [September] “29-30.” The correct date was September 21st.]

249. October 6-7.

I had very many and yet gracious [experiences]. There was a shining black veil or skin, which was drawn over [me], yet it had no consistency; it was said it did not hold together, and therefore was folded up, and I was promised better enlightenment; there also appeared as it were an interior light. I wished to do it myself on Sundays. *It was that by my own understanding and imagination I had entered into something which was compared to the black veil, and which does not hold good*. Again, I saw an abyss, which means *the danger I am in with my thoughts.*

250. Further, something was told about my book; it was said that it would be a divine book on the worship and love of God, [“en Liber divinus de Dei cultu et amore]; I believe there was also something about spirits; I believed I had something on the subject in my work On The Infinite, but there was no reply as to that. I afterwards began to think, and received the information that *all love,-no matter for what it may be, as the love for my works on which I am now employed, if I were to love them, and not as a medium for the only love, which is the love of God and Christ Jesus,-would be a meretricious love.* On this account, also, such [love] *is always compared to whoredom in the Word of God; such also is the one that I have experienced. But when one has the love of God as the supreme, then one has no other love for it [i.e., one’s own work] than the one which finds by devoting it to the service of God.*

251. I also seemed to see Czar Peter and other big-wigs, [knesar] who despised me because I had short sleeves; I do not know what party they were of. A number of times fine bread had been given me, and other things. May God *grant that it is, as I believe it to be, the spiritual bread.*

252. From this and from what precedes it may be seen how quickly and easily a person may be seduced by other spirits, *who represent themselves according to the love of each one, for the loves are represented by spirits,* and in fact as women in [the rest of the sentence is lacking].

253. [October] 7-8

It seemed I wanted to pass along a road, but I saw a little boy who was walking on a path; I followed him, but there was a mist. It seemed to me there were soldiers about. I walked along, crouching and afraid, but yet they did not seem to be enemies but of our own troops. But as I could find any road before me, I turned about, and came into a room that was untidy. I asked for another chamber and also obtained it. I asked a man for some water, but he said it was stale and muddy. I then asked for milk, and woke up. *It means that I had gone astray and had followed my own understanding in a fog, and in such a case a person is afraid of his own people, as if they were enemies. But when a person pursues the right way, then he is afraid of no one. The water means that my understanding is still turbid; milk means that still more confirmation is required.*

254. Afterwards, in vision, I saw a person dressed in a black cloak, but it was taken off, and he vanished. *It means that the former blackness had vanished; when a person pursues this way only, that he puts his trust only in God and Christ, and not in himself so as to depend upon the strength of his own arm or his own understanding.* Moreover, it was perceived *that we are soldiers in order to fight against Satan continually. When one has the spirit and life of God, then there is daily a victory; but if contrarywise then there is daily a discomfiture, a falling into one defeat after another; and therefore a man should not despair but trust in the grace of God.*

255. Last night I seemed to see a commission [for me] as a Lieutenant or captain or something similar; but I asked Secretary Bierchenius to report that I desired to remain in my former office as assessor. This signified that I did not then understand what it means to be a soldier and to fight against Satan, for God sends angels along with [such a soldier] who fight for him. This is the black cloak which was taken off, and God Himself has deigned to enlighten me.

[Hans Bierchenius, Secretary of the College of Mines, one of Swedenborg’s associates and friends. Concerning his happy state and beautiful appearance after death, see the Spiritual Diary, n. 4717.]

256. I saw also in a vision a heart full of blood, by which is meant love.

257. [October] 8-9.

This night was the most delightful of all, because I had a vision of the Kingdom of Innocence. Beneath me I beheld the most beautiful garden that can be imagined, a garden where, little by little, white roses appeared placed upon every tree. Afterwards I came into a long chamber were beautiful white vessels were standing, containing milk and bread; it was so appetizing that nothing more appetizing can be imagined. I was in company with a woman, of whom I have no particular recollection.

258. As I returned there came to me a beautiful and innocent little child, who told me that that woman had left without saying farewell. She asked me to buy her a book which she wished to take up with her, but she did not show me. I woke up. Furthermore it seemed to me that I was giving a feast, at my own expense, to a crowd of people in a house or palace that was standing apart. There where some acquaintances there, among others the Councillor-of-State Lagerberg, and, I believe, also Ehrenpreus and others. Everything was at my expense, and it seemed it was costing me a great deal; the thought kept coming continually that it was expensive; sometimes I did not care, for I observed that the whole expense was borne by the Lord, who owned that estate, or who showed it me.

[Senator Lagerberg. This refers to Count Sven Langerberg, (1672-1746), one of the veterans of Charles XII. He became a councilor of state, or senator, in 1723.]

[Count Carl Ehrenpreus, (1692-1760), another of the veterans of Charles XII. Both he and Lagerberg are described in the Spiritual Diary as adulterers and among the infernals.]

259. *It meant that I was in the Kingdom of Innocence and that I was giving a treat to the other and worldly people without seeing them; perhaps it signifies my work, that it should not be like them, although I am giving them a treat by it, or something else. The child meant innocence itself; I was quite touched by it, and wished that I were in such a kingdom, where all is innocence. I lamented that I had to leave it, upon awakening. As to the woman who left without saying farewell, I do not know what is meant thereby.*

260. On the next day, the 9th, my eyesight was so strong that I was able to read the small print Bible without the least inconvenience.

261. [October] 9-10.

In a vision there appeared as it were a fire of hard coal, burning briskly; it signifies the fire of love [ignem amoris]. Postea cum foemina eram cui dentes quoddam in loco quod attingere volebam sed dentes obstabant.

It signified that during the day I had been engaged upon my *work, which is entirely different from the other and [proceeds from] and entirely different love. [I was in doubt] whether it would prevail, and whether it would not be regarded as mere talk or a plaything in comparison with the other one.*

[“My work, which is entirely different from the other one,”-meaning that the Animal Kingdom, which he was still seeing through the press, was entirely different from the Worship and Love of God, upon which he had not commenced to work.]

262. *Upon awakening I had fully resolved* to abandon this work; this also I would have done, if it not afterwards seemed to me in my sleep that I had been sent to a certain place with a letter. I did not find the way, but my sister, Hedwig, saw the letter, and said that it was addressed to Ulrica Adiersteen, who, it appeared, had longed for me for a long time. I arrived there, and saw also Schonstrom. Afterwards I had continually before me the senses, how they ascend to the brain and again descend, *by which I was strengthened to continue with the work.

*

[The Baroness Ulrika Adlersteen, probably one of Swedenborg’s childhood friends, was born in 1694, and was the daughter of Baron Goran Adlersteen. In 1715 she married Albrecht Schonstrom, who was the son of Peter Swedberg, the brother of Jesper Swedberg. She was, therefore, the wife of Swedenborg’s cousin. (Doc. I:85.)]

263. *May God grant that this may not be contrary to His good-pleasure, since I cannot take anything from the sleep without getting myself into a temptation to abandon it. God, however, helped me to this resolution [to continue with the work]. To God alone be praise and honor.* Nevertheless, a child stumbled over my foot, hurt itself, and screamed. I wanted to help it up and asked, Why do you race about so? *It meant, without doubt, that I wanted to hurry too fast in this [work].*

264. [October] 10-11.

Videbar mihi sicut in lecto esse una cum foemina, sed eam non tetigi.

I then met a gentleman whom I asked if I could enter his service, because I had lost my fortune on account of the war, but the answer was, No. They seemed to be playing basset; the money kept changing hands, but I was with them all the time. I asked my man-servant if he had said that I owned anything; he answered that he had not, and I said that he should not say anything but this. *It signifies the Moravian Church, that I am there and am not accepted, and that I say that I have no knowledge in religion but have lost it all; and that those who play basset, win now and then.*

[Playing “basset,”-a game of cards, resembling the modern faro; it was much in vogue in the eighteenth century.]

265. [October] 12-13.

It seemed as if someone was beaten and scourged, and afterwards he preached with greater zeal and insisted upon it both [in the pulpit] above and [one the floor] below. *It signifies that when a person has been chastised by our Lord, he will afterwards get greater zeal and spirit to persist in that to which the spirit leads him, so that chastisement and punishment give increase in it. I was wondering, yesterday, when I was so happy and allowed my thoughts to run somewhat freely, whether the punishment would change it, whereupon this came as an answer.*

266. Afterwards I seemed to say to myself that the Lord Himself will instruct me; *for I found that I am in such a condition that I know nothing about it [religion] except that Christ must be the all in all, or God through Christ, so that we ourselves are not able to do the least thing towards it, and still less strive for it; and therefore it is best to surrender oneself unconditionally; and, further, that if one could be entirely passive in this thing, it would be the most perfect [state].*

267. I saw also in a vision that beautiful loaves bread were presented to me on a plate. *This was a premonition that the Lord Himself will instruct me, since I have now first come into such a state that I know nothing, and that all preconceived opinions have been taken away from me, which is the beginning of learning, viz., that one must first become a child, and then be wet-nursed into knowledge, as is now taking place with me.*

268. [October] 13-14.

Among other things it was said to me that since the last fortnight I had begun to look much more handsome, and to be like an angel. *God grant that this may be so! May God stand by me in this and not take His grace away from me.*

269. [October] 15-16.

In a vision there appeared a person who was carrying a heavy burden, and he was carrying wooden planks; he fell down under the burden, and another person came to help him, but in what manner he was helped up I did not see. In *the sleep* it appeared after a while that I was walking across on a board, and that I was seeing an abyss and perils before me; afterwards I climbed up a rope after another person, but did not see the top or how I might reach it. *It signifies that those who of their own selves strive to help themselves into the kingdom of heaven, or to that which is higher, labor in vain, and are in constant peril; but it is easy when a person addresses himself to God, who is the help in such and – – -*

270. October 18-19.

I dreamt that a big dog, which I supposed was tied, flew at me and bit me in the leg; someone came and held his terrible jaws so that he could do no more evil. *It meant that yesterday I had listened to an oration at the College of Medicine, and was so presumptuous in my thoughts as to imagine that they might mention me as the one who was somewhat prominent in the understanding of anatomy; yet I was glad that it was not done.* During the night following it appeared to me in a vision as if someone with a twisted foot had left me, which *may mean that on account of the dog’s bite I had become like one with a twisted foot.*