Volume 11 · Chapter 69

CONVERSATION BETWEEN JUDAS AND THOMAS. DEPARTURE FROM BETHANY. STAYING AT THE JORDAN. WHEN morning arrived, Judas tried to see Thomas and take him aside.

[GGJ.11_69,2] They both went outside and talked with each other in this way:

[GGJ.11_69,3] “Brother”, said Judas, “can you actually understand the way of acting of the Lord? Look, we are both men who always knew what we wanted, and once we had a goal in sight we always pursued it with all our strength. However, here I cannot clearly see what the Lord really wants, and I also am not completely convinced anymore that He Himself can clearly see His final goal.

[GGJ.11_69,4] Yesterday, we were both witnesses of His victory, and we saw that He only would have needed little effort to bind the people who firmly adhere to Him, and this in such a way that they would have followed Him wherever He wanted. But instead of convincing everyone of His mission as the Messiah, He tolerates that the temple takes away all the fruits of His work out of His hands and He undertakes nothing of what the people is hoping for while there is truly so much power in Him that He could command the temple and the whole Roman kingdom if He would focus on it.

[GGJ.11_69,5] To what use is all His power of God to Him by which He commands storms, the sick and every disaster if He is in Himself so weak to not use that power when it is necessary? Should those who are healthy and suffer so heavily under the oppression of the Romans and the usury of the temple not find a Messiah in Him? What is the misery of a few sick people compared to the misery of the whole community? Judah, yes the whole world sighs under the oppression of that imperious people. Greedy kings and an almighty emperor who revels in wealth occupy the throne that should be occupied by a wise, just, very powerful ruler from God. The world would become a paradise. Suffering and sadness would change into joy and poverty into wealth if He would rule the throne which is now occupied by the emperor of Rome.

[GGJ.11_69,6] Oh my heart trembles from joy in my bosom when I think how it all could be but how it is not. And why is it not so? Because He, the only One in whom the power of God lives, cannot find the courage in Himself for a fast, determined action.

[GGJ.11_69,7] Look, brother, this saddens me, it makes me deeply worried, for I truly have still a heart for the deep misery of the people, but it seems to me that He, apart from the sick and the weaklings, has already lost His.”

[GGJ.11_69,8] Thomas answered him: “Brother, what are you saying? Did the Lord Himself not say: ‘I did not come into the world for those who are healthy but for the sick and disabled, to help and to comfort them’? Do you want to know better why He came to us than He Himself?”

[GGJ.11_69,9] Hot-temperedly, Judas answered: “And who is healthy in this country? Is not everyone sick and disabled? Only the temple and the big ones revel and fatten themselves with what they extort by their power, and the outer healthy body of the people is inside miserable, sick and spoiled by wrath and anger that is awakened by the way of acting of those supreme rulers.

[GGJ.11_69,10] He surely came also for those people. Do the people only need a Messiah for the physically disabled? The people want to be and must be happy. This is the will of God, but that happiness has to go together with a safely maintained outer position, like the people enjoyed under Salomon so that they lived in peace, and with an outer prosperity they also could develop their soul.

[GGJ.11_69,11] No brother, my heart is full of sorrow. I am opening it to you, for you are still the only one who did not hide his reason and opinion like the others who believe unconditionally without knowing why. No, I am not and do not want to be a slave of superstition. I want to know to where the road is leading. I do not want children’s games. I want to see manly deeds.”

[GGJ.11_69,12] Thomas was shocked about the furious looking Judas who disclosed his ideas so unexpectedly before him. And in a warning voice he said: “Brother, although I am someone who does not 265 easily believe, I am nevertheless convinced of what I once came to believe! If you want to make me wavering in my belief in the Lord – what I think – then this is useless, for I know what to think about Him! So leave me alone!”

[GGJ.11_69,13] Being agitated, Judas objected: “This is far from me! I also am firmly convinced that everyone can solely receive salvation from Him, but I am equally convinced that something has to happen to make this salvation come true! Now is the time, or never!

[GGJ.11_69,14] Herod is well-disposed towards Him. Right at this moment the power of the Romans is less significant here because they need their armed forces elsewhere. So everything is in favor to Him – the most powerful Man – if He only wanted. But to awaken the will in Him, that is what it is all about, for we saw how much He hesitated, and we have heard what the temple wants. If I only possessed a very small part of His power then I equally would mock the tricks of the temple as He has done up to now. That miserable vermin has certainly no power over Him. They never had before and will never have it. But it can be feared that God Himself will take away the power from Him if He resists God’s will to make His people happy.

[GGJ.11_69,15] Here in the Lord all the conditions are united which makes it possible to lay the power of God in Him. We will have to wait eternities before another man will arise and do such immense things. Therefore, He has to do it, now or never, before God’s tolerance runs out. If He does not find the courage in Himself to undertake that which is necessary because it was promised by God, then He must be forced to do it.”

[GGJ.11_69,16] Being shocked, Thomas jumped up and whispered: “To force? Who wants to force Him from whom the Almighty Himself speaks?”

[GGJ.11_69,17] “If He is the One whom He says He is, let Him prove it. If He is not, then why wait for nothing?” mumbled Judas half loud and somber.

[GGJ.11_69,18] Being frightened, Thomas whispered: “How could He be forced? Brother, give up those thoughts. It is not good. I am terrified by it.”

[GGJ.11_69,19] Gloomily Judas said now: “You, weakling, are terrified of great thoughts? But I still do not know myself how this can be possible. I only feel: something must happen. It must.

[GGJ.11_69,20] Goodbye brother. Keep silent against the others about what we both discussed. Do you hear? Promise me. None of those inside do not love me much. I do not want more hate to come over me.”

[GGJ.11_69,21] Thomas reached out his hand and thought: “Who would benefit from my conversation? I promise you.”

[GGJ.11_69,22] After a short greeting, Judas left him and went to the top of the Olive Mountain to be alone and think. But Thomas returned with an anxious mind to the others and he tried to fight his worries by having a calm conversation with the brothers.

[GGJ.11_69,23] When we were now sitting down for the morning meal, with the exception of Judas, Lazarus asked what I had decided to do – whether I, which he preferred, wanted to spend the feast days with him, and if not, where I planned to go.

[GGJ.11_69,24] On this, I said to him and the disciples that I planned to leave Bethany even today – not out of fear, but that I would do it for the sake of the people and the temple servants. These would do a lot of harm if they knew that I was here and not be reachable. In order to prevent this and to not cause harm to anyone I would hide Myself now for a few days and would not allow them to find Me.

[GGJ.11_69,25] My followers asked Me to where I wanted to go.

[GGJ.11_69,26] I said: “If you want to go with Me, you will see. However, a traitor sleeps among you, for this reason you should not yet know it.”

[GGJ.11_69,27] The disciples were shocked about this statement and looked around in astonishment to see who I might mean. Not only the disciples were present here but also many of Lazarus’ house personnel who helped him with the management of his possessions. But none of them dared to ask one word about it.

[GGJ.11_69,28] We finished our meal in silence. Then I said goodbye to Lazarus and his family who very regretfully and with an anxious heart saw me leaving. But their belief in Me lifted them up above all worries that something might happen to Me through the temple.

[GGJ.11_69,29] We turned towards the road to Jericho and soon we saw Judas coming to us who had noticed our departure from the hill and came to join us without looking at the not very happy looking faces of the apostles. Now I made this trip with the 12 only, and none of My remaining adherers was with us.

[GGJ.11_69,30] We soon went into the direction of the Jordan where John had baptized, but since the voice of the preacher in de desert had died away, this spot was now completely desolate. So this is where we camped and we stayed there completely undisturbed.

[GGJ.11_69,31] This region is very pleasant, especially in springtime because the temperature is much warmer there. Luxuriant trees and bushes grew at the shore which provided cool shadows and safe resting places for everyone. Here at the Jordan we still spent 2 full days after we left Lazarus, and I used this time to once again clearly explain to the apostles their calling and My teaching.